The annoying things that get you down...

It was the summer of 2009. I was studying for a biology test. (I HATE science!) I had been cramming the material in all morning long. Then, as I leaded to the edge of my chair to stretch with my arms way above my head, a horrible shot of pain ripped through my lower back.

And my back has never been the same since...

That was a year ago, and here I am now. In the same situation. Luckily being married to someone going into physical therapy has helped take the edge off of the pain, but it's never gone completely away. It's sad that something like "back pain" can just make everything else suck. I feel so frustrated about it. Why wont it get better? I have to admit that I haven't done EVERYTHING I can in the "physical therapy" world to fix it. Not only do I need to stretch 2-3 times A DAY- which I do, I need to build up muscle in my back, stomach, and butt! That's the hard part. I've never been good with "toning up." I prefer doing cardio. Which brings me to my next dilemma.

A couple posts back I stated that I had become unhappy with my body, and that I was finally ready to do something about it. Well, "doing something about it" to me meant, get up and go jogging. I use to jog and I LOVED it! And I was so excited to push myself and get back into it again. In fact, I told myself I wanted to be able to run the 5K for Salem days in August. I've always wanted to do it, but I never have (and I've lived her my ENTIRE life)! So I started. But to my great dismay, I found out very quickly that a bad back and jogging does NOT mix. I have never been in so much back pain in my entire life! And that's when i realized, I couldn't be a runner. Not now anyways. It's sad, now when I drive to work and see all these runners, instead of saying "I need to do that, " I think, "I wish I could do that." I believe I can get to that point again, but it just sucks feeling this way. Feeling like your so fragile and broken, watching every move you make to make sure you don't strain your back. My house is a mess because every time I try to pick up, it hurts. I feel bad for Todd. He is a better Wife than I am... in the manly husband way of course. ;) I know there's a lot more worse things out there than having back pain, so I really shouldn't complain. So now, instead of going jogging. I'm walking with my mom 3 miles 2 time a week, stretching everyday in the morning and night, doing strengthening excises 2-3 times a week (like palates or yoga), and then I'll be getting on my Elliptical 2 times a week for cardio. I haven't lost a pond since I started my exercise fix, but I'm not going to give up. Maybe this time around this new schedule will be a better one for me. For me, my body, and my back.